It's confession time...

I’ve toiled for weeks over whether to write this blog post. I’ve asked for expert advice and opinion and everyone tried desperately to encourage me to write it, but something kept holding me back. That thing was shame.

But I’ve decided in the spirit of my ‘job’ as student blogger (i.e. to write about the trials and tribulations of being a ‘normal’ student) that it’s in everyone’s best interests for me to just go ahead and come clean.

So here it is. My confession. You ready?

I failed my degree.

Yep, that final module I was doing for my BSc Hons... I failed the EMA. I got a shamefully shocking 19 per cent on it and failed miserably. Oh the shame, oh the guilt, oh the humiliation! I didn’t tell anyone apart from Gordon; not my parents, not Durham Uni, no one, because I was far too embarrassed. I’ve scraped through stuff before but I’ve never failed and it was so humiliating, especially since it was my last module!

After I had submitted the EMA I went ahead and booked my graduation ceremony in Manchester too and paid for all my family to come with me and, of course, when the results came through I was utterly gutted. I could’ve still gone and just collected my BSc without the honours but I would’ve felt like a cheat in front of my parents so I just cancelled and made some excuse to them about it being too close to starting my Masters at Durham. Sorry for letting you down Ma and Da, I know how proud you usually are of me, I’ll make it up to you, I promise.

I also spent weeks worrying that since my resubmission took place AFTER my expected start date at Durham I wouldn’t be allowed to start on the MA since I technically didn’t have an honours degree, but when I think back now, my matriculation concession had already been approved so that needn’t have been a worry. I was on the brink of tears for weeks worrying about what to do though and even came up with a brilliant excuse if I wasn’t allowed on my MA course… “Oh well, I decided to take advantage of undergrad fees before they increase and so am converting my BSc Open to a BA PPE so I’ll do my MA next year...”. Do you think anyone would’ve bought into that excuse? I thought it seemed fairly plausible.

'So for all of you who may have this twisted idea that I’m some super-student who does really well...'

Luckily, and possibly because I’d done really well on the TMAs, I was offered the chance to resubmit so I willingly stumped up the £100 resubmission fee and gave it a second go. Once my failed module result came through I was sent the marker’s feedback which showed that whilst my EMA assignment was good and quite thorough in terms of my research analysis I’d just completely missed the point of the question and failed to write in the key words and concepts needed to get the marks. What a dunce. When I got the feedback it was clear as a bell and so obvious where I’d failed which I suppose made it easier to then do the resubmission.

I thought that since the basis of the assignment was right and since I was well within the word limit the most sensible thing to do would be to use the original submission and expand on it to include the detail I’d missed off originally and this obviously worked because I got the results of my resubmission the other day and I’ve passed, not with flying colours exactly, but I’ve passed so I now OFFICIALLY have a BSc (hons) Open.

*phew*

So for all of you who may have this twisted idea that I’m some super-student who does really well... I’m not. I fail. I struggle. I’m actually a very normal, (possibly below) average student.