I’m out of my depth.
I’m drowning.
My mind has gone blank.
I can’t focus.
I can’t cope.
I’m no good at this.
I thought I could manage.
What was I thinking?
I’ve taken on too much. I’m not clever enough to do it all. I’m letting everyone down, they’d be better off without me. I’m not trying hard enough. I’ve lost my motivation. I’ll never succeed. My life is destined to travel in circles of failure.
What was I thinking?
I can’t breathe. The walls are shrinking. The ground is swallowing me up. I can’t cope with this. I want to give up. I want to scream at the top of my lungs “WHY CAN’T I BE CLEVERER??” but won’t, because no one would listen.
What was I thinking?
I’ve brought it on myself. It’s self-inflicted. I‘ve got no sympathy for myself because I’ve got no one to blame but myself. I’ll never get a PhD. I’ll never get an MSc. I’ll never finish my BSc. I’ll never amount to anything because I thought I could cope. But I can’t. I’m drowning in my own over-ambition. I’m just not clever enough.
Honestly. What was I thinking?
Actually, you know what, ignore all of that. I’m just having one of those days. Someone make me a cuppa.
